When you are not there with your family

Today, around 2pm my mother called me by Yahoo messenger. I had been trying to reach her since the last 2 days but she was not there. I was wondering, why she was awake in the middle of the night (it was 1am there in Jakarta) and called me? The strange feeling that I had was clearly about my grandmother who had been seriously ill, especially when my brother left me a very short message saying my grandmother was in a very serious condition and that he was going to the hospital. And yes, my mother told me that she had passed away...

Right after she said that, I became frozen without any word came out from my mind. At that moment, I only knew that my mom really needed me and all of her children. Right at that moment I felt like I was the most useless son on this earth. I couldn't say a word and I couldn't do anything too. The only thing that I said then was only, "we hope God will accept her and her deeds".

Then my mom said she was about to go to hospital and that she called me because she was waiting for her sister (my aunt) to pick her up from her house. She told me a brief story about what happened recently before she went offline. The way she typed the messages was really different than usual. I could sense that she was really in a big sorrow and worried. But what could I do?

The only thing I can do now is just pray to God for my grandmother. I pray for my mother too, I hope she will be okay and keep healthy. Well, this is how it feels when you are not there with your family.